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Catch As Cats Can't/Transcript
(the episode starts in Garfield's backyard where a red bird has flown in; Garfield appears, hiding by a tree) Garfield: 'Shhh! ''(hushed) ''Going to catch a bird. ''(Garfield tiptoes off while a gray cat is planning to catch the same bird) (Garfield and the gray cat sneak up on the bird from opposite directions until they pounce and crash into each other) 'Garfield and Gunther: '''Oof! ''(the red bird flies off) '''Garfield: '''Gunther! '''Gunther: '''Garfield! '''Garfield: '''What are you doing chasing my bird? '''Gunther: ''Your'' boid? Oh, I suppose you had your name written on it or something. (Gunther pokes Garfield in the tummy) Garfield: 'My house, my yard, my bird. '''Gunther: '''I thought the Arbuckle kid owned the house. '''Garfield: '''Yeah, well I own the Arbuckle kid. '''Gunther: '''Oh, good point. ''(Ludlow and the Father Bird have landed in Garfield's backyard) 'Father Bird: '''Now, Ludlow, you look for food here while I go search in another yard. And remember, stay away from cats. ''(the Father Bird flies off) 'Ludlow: '''Yes, father dear. ''(to himself) ''My dear daddy always worries too much about pussycats. But I guess that's what daddies are for. ''(Ludlow wanders off as we go back to Garfield and Gunther) 'Garfield: '''Gunther, old pal, I think there's only one way to settle this. ''(Garfield and Gunther walk off together, but we see Gunther getting kicked out of Garfield's yard and into an apple tree where dozens of apples fall on him) 'Garfield: '''And stay out! Any birds in this yard are mine! ''(to himself) ''Who does he think he is, horning in on my birding territory? Why I oughta...(gasps) Well, hello, there. ''(sees Ludlow) ''Observe the fine bird-stalking technique. The secretive means by which the cat approaches ''(he does so and hides behind a tree) The cunning way he hides so as not to be spotted prematurely. (he begins to run gracefully) ''The graceful way he sprints for his quarry. ''(dances ballet as he prepares to jump) ''The ballet-like technique with which he launches himself into the air. ''(jumps and crashes to the ground by a sprinkler, missing an already airborne Ludlow) ''The stupid way he runs into the lawn sprinkler. ''(Ludlow lands next to Garfield) '''Ludlow: '''I know you. You're that kitty cat I like to play with. '''Garfield: '''Ludlow. '''Ludlow: ''(chuckles) Remember the time you tried to make me into a sandwich? ''(giggles) ''And my father came and mopped the place with you? ''(giggles) ''That was fun! Hey, let's play "Cat-and-Bird." I'll be the bird. You be the cat. '''Garfield: '''All right. What do I have to do? '''Ludlow: '''You pretend that you're about to devour me. Like this! ''(Ludlow dives into Garfield's mouth) Garfield: 'Hey! You come out of there! ''(Garfield puts his paw in his mouth to try and get Ludlow out of there) 'Ludlow: '''You didn't floss after lunch, mister kitty cat. '''Garfield: '''I've got you! Or is that my tonsils? ''(Garfield takes his paw out of his mouth just as the Father Bird lands) 'Father Bird: '''Ludlow? Where are you, son? '''Ludlow: '''I'm here in the kitty cat's mouth, father dear. ''(Ludlow peeks out of Garfield's mouth and waves) 'Father Bird: '''What?! ''(The father bird "rescues" Ludlow and brutally attacks Garfield in a dust-filled fight) 'Father Bird: '''Why you! '''Garfield: '''Ow! Hey. I didn't... '''Father Bird: '''Take this! '''Garfield: '''Easy! I didn't... ''(Garfield is on the ground, held by the Father Bird) 'Garfield: '''Hold it! ''(to Ludlow) ''I don't want to play with you anymore. ''(the dust-filled fight resumes as Ludlow looks on, confused) 'Father Bird: '''Take that! ''(the Father Bird now has Garfield by one of his legs and spins him around rapidly) 'Garfiel: '''Let go of me! ''(he does, and Garfield is sent flying) 'Garfield: '''Whoooooooooooooooooooooooooa! ''(Garfield is about to crash into a tree) 'Garfield: '''Oh, no. Tree. ''(flies around it) ''Fortunately, I missed the tree. ''(then he crashes head fist into the house and slides down) ''Unfortunately, I didn't miss the house. '''Father Bird: '''Come on, Ludlow. Let's get you out of this yard. '''Ludlow: '''Goodbye, mister kitty cat! ''(Ludlow and the Father Bird fly off as Garfield struggles in vain to get up) '''Garfield: ''(groans) I'd wave back, but that would involve finding a part of me that still functions. ''(collapses and moans in pain) (Ludlow and the Father Bird are flying through the sky) Ludlow: 'I'll find us some food, father dear. '''Father Bird: '''Just stay away from cats, Ludlow. ''(Ludlow lands in Gunther's yard as Gunther sees him from behind a tree) 'Gunther: '''Oh, boy/ ''(Ludlow sees Gunther approaching him) 'Ludlow: '''Hello, mister pussycat. Would you like to play a game? ''(Gunther grabs Ludlow) 'Gunther: '''Yeah. Let's play "Grab-the-Boidie." ''(Gunther runs off with Ludlow in his paws) 'Ludlow: '''That sounds like fun. How do you play "Grab-the-Birdie?" And is it like playing "Go Fish?" What are the rules? '''Gunther: '''Shut up. ''(Gunther pokes Ludlow back into his paws) 'Ludlow: '''Can two play it? Is there a computer version out yet? ''(Gunther continues to run with Ludlow in his paws as the scene cuts to the living room in Garfield's house where Garfield himself is recovering from his injuries) 'Garfield: '''Oh, my aching everything. From now on, the only birds around me better be served with cranberry sauce. ''(Garfield sees Gunther running with Ludlow still in paw) 'Gunther: '''I caught a boid! I caught a boid! Foist time ever, I caught a boid! ''(Ludlow peeks out of Gunther's paws) 'Ludlow: '''Can you win money playing "Grab-the-Birdie?" ''(Gunther pokes Ludlow back into his paws) 'Gunther: '''Shut up. ''(Gunther runs off) 'Garfield: '''One of those two is gonna be very sorry. But it's not my problem. So what if Gunther eats that cute little bird? ''(sees someone watching him on TV) ''Hey, don't look at me like that. You worried about the bird? Okay, ''you ''go save him. Who'd even want to eat a bird? ''(sighs) ''Okay, I know what you're thinking. I'm a rat because I won't go save Ludlow. So have it your way. I'm a rat. ''(Garfield walks out of sight, and apparently hears someone yelling at him, even though no voices are heard; Garfield comes in again) '' '''Garfield: '''You can stop looking at me like that because I'm not saving him. ''(Garfield walks out just as a rock guitar is heard, signifying someone screaming at him; he appears with paws in his ears) '' '''Garfield: '''All right, all right. Stop nagging. I'll save him. ''(opens the door) ''I want you to know I'm only doing this for you. ''(Garfield walks out) (the scene cuts to a park where Gunther is still running with Ludlow in paw; Ludlow peeks out) 'Ludlow: '''Are we still playing "Grab-the-Birdie?" ''(Gunther pokes Ludlow back in) 'Gunther: '''Shut up. ''(Ludlow peeks out again) 'Ludlow: '''Who's winning? ''(Gunther pokes Ludlow back in) 'Gunther: '''Be quiet. ''(Just as Gunther is about to eat Ludlow, Garfield appears in sports clothes and taps Gunther on the shoulder) '''Garfield: '''You're not gonna eat that? '''Gunther: '''Why not? '''Garfield: ''(takes Ludlow) Well, look at him! He's simply full of fat grams and cholesterol and calories! Probably has MSG in him, too. '''Gunther: '''But he's just one tiny boid. '''Garfield: '''That's how it always starts. One tiny hot fudge sundae, one tiny pepperoni pizza, one tiny bird. Next thing you know, you're the size of a bus. ''(hands Ludlow back to Gunther) ''Well, they're your love handles. Enjoy your meal, Tubbo. ''(Garfield starts to leave as a puzzled Gunther looks at his new "fat." Then he runs to Garfield again.) Gunther: 'Hey, wait a minute! Hey, I don't want to be fat! Here! Take this! ''(hands Ludlow to Garfield) 'Garfield: '''Well, okay. But before I go, let's have 50 push-ups. Let's go. Move it! Move it! Move it! ''(Gunther gets down on his paws and knees and proceeds to count his push-ups) 'Gunther: '''1, 2, uh, 5, 9,...(panting)'' '''Garfield: ''(whispering to Ludlow) Let's get outta here, bird. '''Gunther: '''11, 43, uh, 9. ''(sees Garfield is gone) ''Hey! '''Ludlow: '(to Garfield, who's running)' '''Is this a new game? '''Gunther: '''When did Garfield get interested in physical fitness? Hey! You come back with my boid! ''(Gunther runs after Garfield and Ludlow) Ludlow: '''After this, can we play shuffleboard? Or maybe a few hands of Old Maid? '''Garfield: ''(to himself) I'm starting to regret saving him. ''(Garfield and Ludlow see a bus at a bust stop) Ludlow: 'Oh, goody! Are we going for a ride? '''Garfield: '''Next season, I'm having it put in my contract: "No More Recurring Characters." ''(Garfield and Ludlow get on the bus, but as Gunther enters the bus, Garfield and Ludlow exit the bus and the doors close behind them; the bus takes off, leaving Gunther on it as Garfield waves to Gunther) 'Garfield: '''Wave to Gunther, Ludlow. ''(the bus pulls out of sight with a helpless Gunther on board) 'Ludlow: '''Where's that bus's next stop? '''Garfield: '''Let's put it this way. I hope for Gunther's sake, there's a restroom on board...or at least a sandbox. ''(Ludlow giggles as he and Garfield walk off) 'Garfield: '''Anyway, for reasons of safety, I suggest you stay away from cats. ''(the father bird is flying in the air and sees Ludlow in Garfield's paw; he quickly dives down) '''Ludlow: ''(to Garfield) But ''you're a cat. (the Father Bird has landed) Father Bird: ''(to Garfield) I warned you about trying to catch my son! ''(the Father Bird brutally attacks Garfield again and they both get into another dust-filled fight) 'Garfield: '''Ow! Oof! ''(Ludlow looks on as Garfield pokes his head out of the dust) 'Garfield: '''I didn't mean your safety, I meant mine. ''(the Father Bird takes Garfield back into the fight) 'Father Bird: '''And another thing! '''Garfield: '''Hey, I didn't... '''Ludlow: '''Father, can I play with the kitty, too? Can I? Huh? ''(The Father Bird continues to mop the place with Garfield) 'Father Bird: '''Take that! Take this! '''Garfield: '''Easy! I didn't... ''(episode ends) Category:Transcript Category:Garfield and Friends Category:Garfield and Friends episodes, Season 7